For Tess

I can’t imagine the depth of sadness. I can’t sympathize with the ridged hole that forms from losing a parent. Words escape me and I find myself repeating the only thing I know and feel with your news, “I am so sorry.” I wish I could reach out and hug you over the miles we are apart. I wish I could help take the sadness and hurt you feel away, along with the many others who love you so dearly. I feel small in comparison to the sudden change your life’s path has found. So I send you my love and prayers…and my words.

Death is the ultimate finality, a fate no one escapes. The angel approaches, gently lies his hand on your shoulder before calmly whispering, “That’s enough, come with me,” just like that the restless soul finds peace. And we are left to deal with the loss, to process the pain, understand the anger, and fight the heartache. A parent is irreplaceable regardless of how you want to judge that parent. They offer a love that is unique to any other love you feel in your life. They are your champions. They are your guidance. They are the kids sometimes when we must stand up and be the adults. But in the end, they are still a part of you. They were the first to delve into the depths of your heart and carve out their own niche. The holes that echo in the caverns of our heart remain long after they are gone. They leave their mark quite literally on our hearts so that in the moments of stillness they can blow through the hollowed caves reminding you of the joy, the smiles, laughter, tears and love they brought into our lives.

I have posted this poem before, but I think it is fitting for anyone who has lost someone they loved. There is no replacement. I realize a few words are insignificant to the loss and sadness you feel, but with nothing better to offer, and no tangible hug to hold on to, I send you this my friend.

Death Finds Family (modified for a friend)
Something grand is awaiting
It’s time for me to go
Death comes to us all
When? No one knows

We’ll meet again
I know this much is true
This isn’t the end
Of the love I hold for you

He’s calling my name
I’m not sure that I’m ready
It’s time to make the journey, though
Unfinished work now seems petty

I’m scared and I’m frightened
There's no time for goodbyes to you
But He’s taking my hand
And guiding me through

My dear, please don’t cry
Remember the laughter
Know that my love for you
Will remain long after

I’ll be seeing you again
We’ll meet at the pearly gates
For now I must go
And follow my fate

I’ll always love you
And when death comes to your door
Know that I've been waiting
And I'll see you once more

Jimmy.

We were skyping with Arianna and Antonio yesterday, when Levi decided to get out of storage a "buddy" from when he was just a little boy. Jimmy. He showed the kids this toy - a kind of a creepy doll now that it had been worn down from years of play and then stored for such a long time - when he began making the doll attack me as if "Jimmy" was "Chucky". Tonio was laughing and Arianna was a little freaked out...I don't blame her.

I should have known that would not be the end of it...

Last night when I was getting ready for bed I walked into the bathroom only to turn around and find Jimmy hanging there. It scared the @#$% out of me and I gave a blood curdling scream.

Levi, of course, was laughing so hard he couldn't talk.

I thought I would share the pics of what I found in the bathroom last night.

I must admit, after the initial horror wore off, it was pretty funny. :)

Technology Bites

Stupid computer.
Crashed.
Thursday morning.
Ugh.
Luckily pretty much everything was backed up. Only lost my sister's 30th birthday video. :( (At least she has a copy.) And lost some programs my old boss loaded for me. :(
My company got me a new laptop. Plus.
It is previously used. Minus.
Stupid computer.

Reuniting the Class of 2000

Saturday night we had Levi's 10 year high school reunion. It was so much fun! I had such a good time meeting all these people that are part of my husband's past and being able to put a face with a name or a story from his childhood. It was so much fun to see Levi reconnect with all those lost or forgotten friends as well. When we first arrived we sat with some of Levi's friends with whom he he still keeps in touch. Levi kept looking around and saying to me, "Oh my gosh so and so is here," or he would say, "wow, that is so and so." It was funny to me that he seemed so surprised to see these people at the reunion. But it was so neat to see his excitement at seeing all these old faces and to see Levi through the eyes of people who knew him when he was younger.

It was a great night, unfortunately, cut short by food poisoning for me. Here I thought we were thinking ahead by having dinner and then munching on the heavy finger foods - but I definitely had food poisoning from...Chipotle. Bummer. At least up until that point where I got nauseous it was fun...and even then, after we had to leave, Levi and I found something to laugh about because if you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?

Blue Clear Sky

I've had this George Strait song in my head for the past few days and it seems pretty fitting...

I woke up late one morning in a rush for work. I grabbed the first items I could get my hands on (aka I looked frumpy) and I didn't do my hair. I didn't really care though, I was at a point in life where I was over dating and really just wanted to make it through my internship. I walked in to work only to be told that my desk was being moved...next to my crush! UGH and double ugh! Now I cared. I was thanking God that "he" took the day off when "he" walked in late to find the fiasco in his cubicle AND we were moving my stuff in.

It was the start of something wonderful, though. I was walking, talking true love - out of the Blue Clear Sky. Here are some pictures of our kids and the amazing family we have.

Champ clobbers us all, Butch mostly though

Aspen is such a daddy's girl
Champ waits everyday for Levi to take him to work, this was when Levi left without him :(

We are rocking the side of our house and the "kids" were helping

Aspen wanted so bad for me to cuddle her, she climbed on my back and wouldn't get off

Levi just home from work saying hi to the boys

Champ and Aspen hanging out officially after we first got Champ - November 18, 2006

Super Champ - this is from when we first had Champ, September 2006

Champ and Butch keeping me company one night

Present

While I was putting together my blog on my vanity I heard our pups. I got up to make sure they were doing OK...they've been inside because of the 92 degree weather today at our house, so I let them out to stretch their legs. Oh hey, I see I should go ahead and top off their water bowl while I'm up and it would be faster to fill it up from the hose out back than go back inside and fill it up.

IF YOU ARE THE FAINT OF HEART OR IF THERE ARE CHILDREN IN THE ROOM NOW WOULD BE A GOOD TO STOP READING OR REMOVE SAID CHILDREN.

Aimee: "Wow what a nice day...isn't this a great day Champ and Butch?"

Champ and Butch do not reply, they just look at me with board expressions.

Aimee: "Let me just walk over here....hey, what is that?" I don't have my glasses on. I take a step closer. "Is that? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! ASPEN!"



Aspen decided to leave, her most cherished mom, a little present this morning after she was out for the day...I didn't get it until now. :

Yes, it is a mouse.

Yes, he is dead.

Yes, it is not that big...BUT IT IS STILL A MOUSE! - I guess better that Aspen got to it before it got in the house. :/ (The joys of having a backyard the size of a field.)

So, here are the options:

Option A: Leave it there until Levi comes home from work - that won't be until much later tonight and the dogs need to be outside too....hmmm

Option B: Put on rubber glove, wrap rubber glove with paper towels, place multiple plastic bags over pre-wrapped hand - go outside to pick up carcase and dispose

Guess which option I went with?

Hello Gorgeous!

Me, no. My new vanity, YES! Not quite new, but updated. ;) Over the long holiday weekend I decided it was high time that I stop looking at my vanity with angst and instead make the changes to it that I could see in my head. Now the only problem...how do I make what is going on in my head translate to the real world? (Levi always says my mind is cartoons.)

Step 1 - channel my inner crafty/decorator/refined stylish self : uh-hum, channel my fabulous friends that are way more crafty than me

Step 2 - buy supplies to give it a new finish

Step 3 - get my sister's old mirror out of storage @ mom and dad's and safely transport to new location

Step 4 - make it happen and happen it did!

I love my new vanity and as all you women out there well know having a place of your own to put on your makeup, store all your cosmetics, nail supplies and all the other items that us women need to stay looking fabulous for our men is simply bliss. (And I painted the chair to match...love my chair!)

Soo...

What do you think?