Coop's First Swim

We took Cooper swimming for the first time yesterday. I have been wanting to take him for a while now and we finally made it to the pool. It was so much fun and such a good family day! I am just in love with my family!

But first, the boys could not stop watching motocross...

(don't mind the dates on the pictures, I have to reset my camera.)

We finally headed off to the pool.

Coop did not like all the noise and activity at first, but soon enough he warmed up.

And then after all that playing it was time to go home and nap.

(we caught him in mid-yawn, so dang cute!)

It was such a fun day and good way to celebrate Coop turning 8-months!

Adjusting

(For some reason this one never got posted, but it is from August 27, 2011)

Life has changed. There is less sleep...lots of feedings...and numerous diapers. There are lots of smiles. :) Giggles and many, many flutters of dreaming eyes. There are cuddles and scoffs (my favorite), whimpers and random singular cries in the middle of sleep - just one loud yelp before slipping back to quiet slumber. There are toe stretches and leg curls, head raises and long stares. Yes, life has changed. While I do yearn for eight hours of uninterrupted deep, blissful slumber...the gentle cry of my son is a treasure I would never give up. He is our love.

The Sweetest Thing

Heating Up

the days of 90+ weather
are not a welcome site
I'm burning up, I'm dying
I'm ready for a fight

I have a little heater
he keeps me warm enough
I don't need mother nature
flaunting, showing off her stuff

the humidity was worse
thank God there's no more rain
but this heat is killing me
it's becoming quite the pain

so I'm ready for my son
I'm ready to be cool
but I'll survive a few more weeks
so auntie can win the pool :-P

Showerd with love...

...and, of course, cake!

...Get Ready...Get Set...

There is an excitement, anticipation for the change that is about to occur. One that makes me eager for the days to fly and yet yearns for time to slow. Life has changed for us. Life will change again with the arrival of this new addition. A change I am excited to embrace, but a change that will forever alter the course of our lives. It is time. Time to end the honeymoon chapter and turn the page to family. A lifetime of joy and memories await us with this little bundle.


I never imagined six years ago when I met my husband that my heart could know such joy. I thought meeting him was the best. Then I thought falling in love with him was the best...moving in with him...marrying him...each stage seemed to eclipse the last. There is a love so deep no words can explain. (I know many of you are lucky enough to feel this too, because thankfully love is unique to the individual and can touch us all.) My husband's love has invaded my heart and conquered my soul. I have found someone to stand by me, who accepts my faults, encourages me and believes in my dreams with me (even when others are telling you to throw in the towel), he brings out the best in me...he is the love of my life. Bringing a new life into this world with my love, my best friend, my soul mate leaves me speechless. There is no greater joy I can think of but I imagine as we continue this journey through life there will be many more moments that once again eclipse the last.


Our son is going to be blessed with a patient, fun, encouraging, ornery father who will teach him to laugh, to play, to think logically and thoroughly, to have a kind and generous heart. My son is already blessed a million times over because of the father he will have.


As we near the end of this pregnancy there is a gentle reminder of the best decision I ever made. It is ever present. Thank you God for throwing an internship I did not want to pursue in my face. Thank You for moving my desk right next to this amazing man who I was too timid to talk to, for him asking me to dinner and me having the sense to say yes. Thank You for all the inexplicable coincidences in our lives that showed us we were constantly circling each other waiting for the right time before we would be ready for each other and then giving us the time to enjoy each other and prepare to be parents so we would be ready for our little guy.


We are as ready as we are ever going to be.

San Diego

Levi and I were able to take one last trip before we became a family of three. We visited Levi's best friend and his wife, toured the aquarium, took a dinner cruise and while Levi went off to ride dirt bikes I got to go shopping and...the Glee concert! (squeal) It was so much fun! I could not have asked for a better quick get-away for us before we welcome our new little buster. Here are a couple pics from our dinner cruise.

This is while we were passing under the Coronado Bridge. The "legend" is that if you kiss the one you love while passing under the bridge you'll have eternal love and happiness.

This is a picture of a ship at dock and it had red, white and blue twinkle lights strung across it. So beautiful. (You can't really tell from the picture :/)

The Bump

To everyone who has been asking for a pic, I finally remembered to take one!

The Times, They Are A Changing

I can't believe that the little buster will be here so soon. Feels like it was just last week that Levi and I found out and were keeping this special secret to ourselves. Now I am past the halfway point. I feel lots of movement these days...he kicks me randomly, turns or tumbles when I finally try to relax and lie down at the end of the day...almost like he is saying, "mom, look what I can do!" I love it! He moves lots when I drink lemonade and he LOVES reese's peanut butter cups; he moves a bunch when I eat them. I cannot get enough of those and artichokes. :)

I keep wondering what he will look like or what his little personality will be. Will he have light or dark hair, will he even have hair when he is born, will he have my smile or Levi's, whose face shape will he have... The most amazing and special thing to me is this bond between Levi and I knowing that we have created this little person. I never knew my heart could grow and fall that much more in love with my husband, but it has and I find myself overwhelmed with joy. So overwhelmed with joy. I find that somehow through this process a peace has come to me and the worries that I once had are meaningless. All that matters is this family that I have with my husband. Of course there will still be worries and concerns - but different from those a year ago. Different from those 6-months ago. Just different - a difference I am anxiously and completely willing to embrace.

Worry Be Gone

I have finally finished telling the last of friends and, more importantly, my employer the news of our expected delivery in August. Anyone who knows me knows that I worry. And not only do I worry, but my vivid imagination is able to conjure up the many different scenarios that could potentially, but most likely will never, occur. So today is a W-O-N-D-E-R-F-U-L day because all those crazy worries have been put to rest.

As to update anyone curious about the little buddy, both baby and I are doing well. I have been extremely fortunate in that I did not have any morning sickness or real nausea in my first trimester. I was extremely tired and still find myself tired from time to time, but as one of my good friends put it, "You're creating something that is going from microscopic to an 8 lb baby in a short amount of time, of course you'll be tired." Touche.

All the check ups have gone well and we should deliver a healthy little one when he or she is ready. Another worry gone. As to the sex of the baby...we don't know at this time but we are going to find out. Levi and I are too curious to hold out until delivery. I don't feel like I have an increased appetite and the heartbeat is very fast, both signs - according to old wives tales - that we are having a girl. But who knows for sure and we'll find out soon enough.

So for the next few months this blog may be filled with news about the baby, funny stories about how my husband would like to take me golfing for my very first time when I am past 6-months pregnant (oh yes he is), or weird stories about why our cat has all of the sudden decided sleeping on my chest/belly is the best bed in the house. Entertainment is sure to follow.

So for today...it is Friday and my worries be gone! :)

Oh Brother

I was so lucky to be able to spend last week with my brother and his partner. He was in town for us to celebrate Christmas. It was such a good visit and so wonderful to see him. I love him so much. My brother has always been someone I look up to. I can remember being a kid and thinking he was so amazing - everything he did was admirable. He is so smart and talented. He is generous and has the kindest heart. I don't think I have ever seen a selfish action or word from my brother. I cannot even begin to count the numerous times I have seen him go out of his way to help someone or make them feel loved and acknowledged. When my brother was in high school he wrote a play that was far too deep for someone of his age, yet he captured the audience with ease. There was not a dry eye in that audience after the show ended. Everyone was on their feet. But that's my brother. He makes everything seem so simple but to any one of us it would be challenging. My brother is the most amazing person you have never met if you do not know him. (Of course I am bias...but it is true.)


I love my brother so much. He fills a spot in my heart that is warm and pure and all his. I still find myself looking up to my older brother with awe. Amazed at how much he has accomplished through all the struggles his life has brought him. He is still that amazingly gifted person who radiates love to everyone without pretense or discrimination. I am so blessed to have him in my life, to have him as my brother and to know the depth of his genuine love.

I'm in Love...and so is my Husband!

With eachother? Well sure if we want to get technical. Levi has found love with his new PS3 game Call of Duty: Black OPs and I am in love with my Kindle (gifts for our anniversary). I didn't think I could love something this much, but I absolutely love it. (And I kind of feel weird, like the Jetsons.) I figured it would be just like reading any other old book, well...it is. But it is super convenient. I know most of the adoration for this item is the novelty of a new toy. So next month, I'll just have to love my husband again. ;) But now you know, if you can't get ahold of the two of us it's because we are in love.

One...two...three...

...years of marriage! Happy Anniversary my love!

Puzzle Pieces Welcome

Sunday Levi and I helped move his grandparents into their new home. They made the move from New Mexico and this was the first time I had the pleasure to meet them. I loved seeing and learning about this part of my husband's life. We are all made up from the life experiences we have endured, and the people who have come into our lives. We each are a puzzle that can, from time to time, feel as though we are missing the pieces that make us up. Meeting Jim and Emily, having them close is like watching another piece of the puzzle that makes up Levi come into place. Sometimes those pieces are ragged from wear, from the long journey they had to manage to finally be combined so that the complete work of art can be revealed. Sometimes those pieces fall into place with ease and are immovable from the moment they find their home. Sometimes we have puzzle pieces that are small, reserved for those people and events that come and go from our lives quickly. Sometimes the pieces are large, taking up real estate and filling the holes of pieces long gone. And then there are pieces that have been in place since birth; too large to be replaced by anything else than the original.

It's wonderful to be close to family, to have another piece of my husband's life close, another line to his father available. For me it is a way to learn more about my husband by seeing him through two new (new to me) pairs of eyes and two new hearts that hold an abundance of love for him only adding to the incredible love that already surrounds his life, cultivating his puzzle into a priceless masterpiece.

For Tess

I can’t imagine the depth of sadness. I can’t sympathize with the ridged hole that forms from losing a parent. Words escape me and I find myself repeating the only thing I know and feel with your news, “I am so sorry.” I wish I could reach out and hug you over the miles we are apart. I wish I could help take the sadness and hurt you feel away, along with the many others who love you so dearly. I feel small in comparison to the sudden change your life’s path has found. So I send you my love and prayers…and my words.

Death is the ultimate finality, a fate no one escapes. The angel approaches, gently lies his hand on your shoulder before calmly whispering, “That’s enough, come with me,” just like that the restless soul finds peace. And we are left to deal with the loss, to process the pain, understand the anger, and fight the heartache. A parent is irreplaceable regardless of how you want to judge that parent. They offer a love that is unique to any other love you feel in your life. They are your champions. They are your guidance. They are the kids sometimes when we must stand up and be the adults. But in the end, they are still a part of you. They were the first to delve into the depths of your heart and carve out their own niche. The holes that echo in the caverns of our heart remain long after they are gone. They leave their mark quite literally on our hearts so that in the moments of stillness they can blow through the hollowed caves reminding you of the joy, the smiles, laughter, tears and love they brought into our lives.

I have posted this poem before, but I think it is fitting for anyone who has lost someone they loved. There is no replacement. I realize a few words are insignificant to the loss and sadness you feel, but with nothing better to offer, and no tangible hug to hold on to, I send you this my friend.

Death Finds Family (modified for a friend)
Something grand is awaiting
It’s time for me to go
Death comes to us all
When? No one knows

We’ll meet again
I know this much is true
This isn’t the end
Of the love I hold for you

He’s calling my name
I’m not sure that I’m ready
It’s time to make the journey, though
Unfinished work now seems petty

I’m scared and I’m frightened
There's no time for goodbyes to you
But He’s taking my hand
And guiding me through

My dear, please don’t cry
Remember the laughter
Know that my love for you
Will remain long after

I’ll be seeing you again
We’ll meet at the pearly gates
For now I must go
And follow my fate

I’ll always love you
And when death comes to your door
Know that I've been waiting
And I'll see you once more

Blue Clear Sky

I've had this George Strait song in my head for the past few days and it seems pretty fitting...

I woke up late one morning in a rush for work. I grabbed the first items I could get my hands on (aka I looked frumpy) and I didn't do my hair. I didn't really care though, I was at a point in life where I was over dating and really just wanted to make it through my internship. I walked in to work only to be told that my desk was being moved...next to my crush! UGH and double ugh! Now I cared. I was thanking God that "he" took the day off when "he" walked in late to find the fiasco in his cubicle AND we were moving my stuff in.

It was the start of something wonderful, though. I was walking, talking true love - out of the Blue Clear Sky. Here are some pictures of our kids and the amazing family we have.

Champ clobbers us all, Butch mostly though

Aspen is such a daddy's girl
Champ waits everyday for Levi to take him to work, this was when Levi left without him :(

We are rocking the side of our house and the "kids" were helping

Aspen wanted so bad for me to cuddle her, she climbed on my back and wouldn't get off

Levi just home from work saying hi to the boys

Champ and Aspen hanging out officially after we first got Champ - November 18, 2006

Super Champ - this is from when we first had Champ, September 2006

Champ and Butch keeping me company one night

What Inspires You?

There are many things in this life that I fall in love with over and over again. My husband goes without saying, but simple things like watching someone walk around a lake with no perception of time, studying Champ as he becomes engrossed while surveying the neighborhood at the front door, or even the fall of leaves in the autumn - the realization that they are at their end - put me in a state of wonder. I love these moments. I find myself curious and in awe of those simple treasures; treasures that when I'm not looking inspire me.

One place I always find inspiration is in art. I absolutely love art. There is something so amazing about a person who can have such skill as to present the realities of life with the swiftness of their hand regardless if it is abstract or figurative. With each painting I wonder what emotion captured the artist and pursued them until finally it was released onto the canvass. Bob Ross (insert cliche laugh here) was the first artist I loved. Everything about how he painted was joyful. The world he created through his work was always engineered with happiness. All the trees had friends and there was nothing you could do mess up "your world".

As I grew up my attraction to art evolved and I found another artist who continues to awe and inspire me, Jack Vettriano. Some of his work hangs in our home, other pieces I am dying to get - but not all are in production. :/ His work is soulful and loving, raw and edgy, glamorous and simple all at the same time. I wonder what emotion coursed through him when he felt the need to create the different pieces. What sights he must have seen...what mystery surrounded his life...what pain he must have endured...what love he must have experienced.

I think the greatest thing about art is that there is no right or wrong interpretation. It simply holds the hope you see, the pain you feel, the love that embodies you. And every one will see something different although we are all looking at the same thing.

There are numerous artist whose pieces of work capture me and leave me speechless. I am drawn to art and with each piece I experience, I am inspired.

Count Your Moments

There are moments in life where you need no affirmation that you are exactly where you are meant to be.  When the muddled what if's or should have, could have, would have's fade away.  Moments when future plans blurr, too distant to discern.  Moments when you wish you could freeze time.  Stand still.  Never change.  I often find myself watching our 'kids' and wishing with all my heart that I could make time stand still so that nothing would ever change.  Old age wouldn't consume our dogs.  Time wouldn't haunt our bodies and we could simply be exactly as we are at that moment. 

But what is life without adventure?  How could you know the happy times truly are happy without knowing the sad?  How can you touch lives if you never grow into the person you were meant to be?  Life is complex.  Filled with too many moments to freeze.  And if that invisible force pushing us forward, moving us to the next day, never gave us that gentle nudge to move on would we then never know the bliss that awaits us?

There are moments in this life that I will never forget.  My grandpa calling out, "here comes star."  Hiding from the neighborhood boogie man with girl friends in middle school (the pee man - LOL).  Showing up on my sister's doorstep crying and her enfolding me in a hug.  My family laughing so hard at a silly shrunken T shirt.  Seeing my husband for the first time.  Seeing my husband at the end of the aisle...

Too many moments to recount here. 

I pray that I never forget those moments.  That I can look back on life, unleash the treasured times and be filled the memory of a life well lived.  To everyone reading this, treasure your moments.  The good, the bad and the ugly.  Tally your blessings and let go of that which holds you back.  At end of my life you'll find me recounting my moments....date nights with grandma and drinking too much wine...giving my parents a 'cool' wave at my volleyball games...playing in the halls of the hospital with Levi the night Arianna was born...meeting Tonio for the first time...Marilyn's patience teaching me to ride the quad...the night we brought home our Champ...

The Happiest Place on Earth

Wednesday night I flew into Orlando to meet my parents, my sister and the kids for a vacation.  (My brother actually flew in today.)  It will be a quick trip, no doubt, but it will be so good.  It has been almost a year since I have been able to hug and kiss those kidos...way too long.  Plus it is good to have my sister's company.  She has always been a stability in my life and not having her around these past few years has been an adjustment.  Thank God for Levi.  While he can't replace my sister he is my best friend and takes care of me just as my sister always has. 

It is so amazing how fast the time goes.  Arianna has grown into such a little girl, with a fun personality and a little bit of diva attitude.  I just love her so much.  Antonio has gotten so big and in fact is almost as tall as Arianna even though he is two years younger.  He is such a little love bug and loves to play.  Here are a couple pics from the past few days.  I miss my husband like crazy, but having this time with my family truly does make this the happiest place on earth. ;)

Poor Champ...Again

What a rough couple of weeks. Champ really is a fitting name for our boy because he has been such a trooper. Monday night I came home from my volleyball game to find our Champers lethargic, unresponsive (compared to his normal giddiness), and down right sad. It was late, he was not interested in eating - which anyone who knows Champ knows that is highly suspicious - and to say the least I broke down. I have never seen our pup act this way. It scared me. To top it off, Levi went to workout - unbeknownst to me - and I was freaking out: something was terribly wrong with our dog and at 9:30 at night Levi could not be found.

Champ's behavior improved Tuesday only to take a dramatic and horrible turn for the worse yesterday. He wouldn't eat, was throwing up blood and let's just say that wasn't the only end blood was coming out of. Levi and I did not sleep last night. Every two hours we were up with Champ taking him outside so he could vacate what ever was left in him. We got up this morning and took him in to the vet right away...

Here's the current theory.
After checking a stool sample they said it is a bacterial infection. Champ was on antibiotics after his surgery earlier this month. The vet said that sometimes when you put them on these meds their natural bacteria - the good bacteria - is wiped out and thus allows the bad bacterial to set up shop. Needless to say Champ is back on medications. He is on a special food diet that should settle his tummy to allow him to eat.

Man, I cannot imagine the worry, the angst, the helplessness those of you out there that are parents feel when your little ones are sick. I know Champy is a dog and will not have the lifespan that humans do, but I cannot imagine our life without him. He is our little buddy, he is Aspen's foe (really they love to play with/tease one another) and Butch's best friend.

We are praying that these meds work for Champ and he can be back to his goofy, fun loving self soon.