Adjusting

(For some reason this one never got posted, but it is from August 27, 2011)

Life has changed. There is less sleep...lots of feedings...and numerous diapers. There are lots of smiles. :) Giggles and many, many flutters of dreaming eyes. There are cuddles and scoffs (my favorite), whimpers and random singular cries in the middle of sleep - just one loud yelp before slipping back to quiet slumber. There are toe stretches and leg curls, head raises and long stares. Yes, life has changed. While I do yearn for eight hours of uninterrupted deep, blissful slumber...the gentle cry of my son is a treasure I would never give up. He is our love.

The Sweetest Thing

Heating Up

the days of 90+ weather
are not a welcome site
I'm burning up, I'm dying
I'm ready for a fight

I have a little heater
he keeps me warm enough
I don't need mother nature
flaunting, showing off her stuff

the humidity was worse
thank God there's no more rain
but this heat is killing me
it's becoming quite the pain

so I'm ready for my son
I'm ready to be cool
but I'll survive a few more weeks
so auntie can win the pool :-P

...Get Ready...Get Set...

There is an excitement, anticipation for the change that is about to occur. One that makes me eager for the days to fly and yet yearns for time to slow. Life has changed for us. Life will change again with the arrival of this new addition. A change I am excited to embrace, but a change that will forever alter the course of our lives. It is time. Time to end the honeymoon chapter and turn the page to family. A lifetime of joy and memories await us with this little bundle.


I never imagined six years ago when I met my husband that my heart could know such joy. I thought meeting him was the best. Then I thought falling in love with him was the best...moving in with him...marrying him...each stage seemed to eclipse the last. There is a love so deep no words can explain. (I know many of you are lucky enough to feel this too, because thankfully love is unique to the individual and can touch us all.) My husband's love has invaded my heart and conquered my soul. I have found someone to stand by me, who accepts my faults, encourages me and believes in my dreams with me (even when others are telling you to throw in the towel), he brings out the best in me...he is the love of my life. Bringing a new life into this world with my love, my best friend, my soul mate leaves me speechless. There is no greater joy I can think of but I imagine as we continue this journey through life there will be many more moments that once again eclipse the last.


Our son is going to be blessed with a patient, fun, encouraging, ornery father who will teach him to laugh, to play, to think logically and thoroughly, to have a kind and generous heart. My son is already blessed a million times over because of the father he will have.


As we near the end of this pregnancy there is a gentle reminder of the best decision I ever made. It is ever present. Thank you God for throwing an internship I did not want to pursue in my face. Thank You for moving my desk right next to this amazing man who I was too timid to talk to, for him asking me to dinner and me having the sense to say yes. Thank You for all the inexplicable coincidences in our lives that showed us we were constantly circling each other waiting for the right time before we would be ready for each other and then giving us the time to enjoy each other and prepare to be parents so we would be ready for our little guy.


We are as ready as we are ever going to be.

The Times, They Are A Changing

I can't believe that the little buster will be here so soon. Feels like it was just last week that Levi and I found out and were keeping this special secret to ourselves. Now I am past the halfway point. I feel lots of movement these days...he kicks me randomly, turns or tumbles when I finally try to relax and lie down at the end of the day...almost like he is saying, "mom, look what I can do!" I love it! He moves lots when I drink lemonade and he LOVES reese's peanut butter cups; he moves a bunch when I eat them. I cannot get enough of those and artichokes. :)

I keep wondering what he will look like or what his little personality will be. Will he have light or dark hair, will he even have hair when he is born, will he have my smile or Levi's, whose face shape will he have... The most amazing and special thing to me is this bond between Levi and I knowing that we have created this little person. I never knew my heart could grow and fall that much more in love with my husband, but it has and I find myself overwhelmed with joy. So overwhelmed with joy. I find that somehow through this process a peace has come to me and the worries that I once had are meaningless. All that matters is this family that I have with my husband. Of course there will still be worries and concerns - but different from those a year ago. Different from those 6-months ago. Just different - a difference I am anxiously and completely willing to embrace.

Worry Be Gone

I have finally finished telling the last of friends and, more importantly, my employer the news of our expected delivery in August. Anyone who knows me knows that I worry. And not only do I worry, but my vivid imagination is able to conjure up the many different scenarios that could potentially, but most likely will never, occur. So today is a W-O-N-D-E-R-F-U-L day because all those crazy worries have been put to rest.

As to update anyone curious about the little buddy, both baby and I are doing well. I have been extremely fortunate in that I did not have any morning sickness or real nausea in my first trimester. I was extremely tired and still find myself tired from time to time, but as one of my good friends put it, "You're creating something that is going from microscopic to an 8 lb baby in a short amount of time, of course you'll be tired." Touche.

All the check ups have gone well and we should deliver a healthy little one when he or she is ready. Another worry gone. As to the sex of the baby...we don't know at this time but we are going to find out. Levi and I are too curious to hold out until delivery. I don't feel like I have an increased appetite and the heartbeat is very fast, both signs - according to old wives tales - that we are having a girl. But who knows for sure and we'll find out soon enough.

So for the next few months this blog may be filled with news about the baby, funny stories about how my husband would like to take me golfing for my very first time when I am past 6-months pregnant (oh yes he is), or weird stories about why our cat has all of the sudden decided sleeping on my chest/belly is the best bed in the house. Entertainment is sure to follow.

So for today...it is Friday and my worries be gone! :)

Puzzle Pieces Welcome

Sunday Levi and I helped move his grandparents into their new home. They made the move from New Mexico and this was the first time I had the pleasure to meet them. I loved seeing and learning about this part of my husband's life. We are all made up from the life experiences we have endured, and the people who have come into our lives. We each are a puzzle that can, from time to time, feel as though we are missing the pieces that make us up. Meeting Jim and Emily, having them close is like watching another piece of the puzzle that makes up Levi come into place. Sometimes those pieces are ragged from wear, from the long journey they had to manage to finally be combined so that the complete work of art can be revealed. Sometimes those pieces fall into place with ease and are immovable from the moment they find their home. Sometimes we have puzzle pieces that are small, reserved for those people and events that come and go from our lives quickly. Sometimes the pieces are large, taking up real estate and filling the holes of pieces long gone. And then there are pieces that have been in place since birth; too large to be replaced by anything else than the original.

It's wonderful to be close to family, to have another piece of my husband's life close, another line to his father available. For me it is a way to learn more about my husband by seeing him through two new (new to me) pairs of eyes and two new hearts that hold an abundance of love for him only adding to the incredible love that already surrounds his life, cultivating his puzzle into a priceless masterpiece.

For Tess

I can’t imagine the depth of sadness. I can’t sympathize with the ridged hole that forms from losing a parent. Words escape me and I find myself repeating the only thing I know and feel with your news, “I am so sorry.” I wish I could reach out and hug you over the miles we are apart. I wish I could help take the sadness and hurt you feel away, along with the many others who love you so dearly. I feel small in comparison to the sudden change your life’s path has found. So I send you my love and prayers…and my words.

Death is the ultimate finality, a fate no one escapes. The angel approaches, gently lies his hand on your shoulder before calmly whispering, “That’s enough, come with me,” just like that the restless soul finds peace. And we are left to deal with the loss, to process the pain, understand the anger, and fight the heartache. A parent is irreplaceable regardless of how you want to judge that parent. They offer a love that is unique to any other love you feel in your life. They are your champions. They are your guidance. They are the kids sometimes when we must stand up and be the adults. But in the end, they are still a part of you. They were the first to delve into the depths of your heart and carve out their own niche. The holes that echo in the caverns of our heart remain long after they are gone. They leave their mark quite literally on our hearts so that in the moments of stillness they can blow through the hollowed caves reminding you of the joy, the smiles, laughter, tears and love they brought into our lives.

I have posted this poem before, but I think it is fitting for anyone who has lost someone they loved. There is no replacement. I realize a few words are insignificant to the loss and sadness you feel, but with nothing better to offer, and no tangible hug to hold on to, I send you this my friend.

Death Finds Family (modified for a friend)
Something grand is awaiting
It’s time for me to go
Death comes to us all
When? No one knows

We’ll meet again
I know this much is true
This isn’t the end
Of the love I hold for you

He’s calling my name
I’m not sure that I’m ready
It’s time to make the journey, though
Unfinished work now seems petty

I’m scared and I’m frightened
There's no time for goodbyes to you
But He’s taking my hand
And guiding me through

My dear, please don’t cry
Remember the laughter
Know that my love for you
Will remain long after

I’ll be seeing you again
We’ll meet at the pearly gates
For now I must go
And follow my fate

I’ll always love you
And when death comes to your door
Know that I've been waiting
And I'll see you once more

Count Your Moments

There are moments in life where you need no affirmation that you are exactly where you are meant to be.  When the muddled what if's or should have, could have, would have's fade away.  Moments when future plans blurr, too distant to discern.  Moments when you wish you could freeze time.  Stand still.  Never change.  I often find myself watching our 'kids' and wishing with all my heart that I could make time stand still so that nothing would ever change.  Old age wouldn't consume our dogs.  Time wouldn't haunt our bodies and we could simply be exactly as we are at that moment. 

But what is life without adventure?  How could you know the happy times truly are happy without knowing the sad?  How can you touch lives if you never grow into the person you were meant to be?  Life is complex.  Filled with too many moments to freeze.  And if that invisible force pushing us forward, moving us to the next day, never gave us that gentle nudge to move on would we then never know the bliss that awaits us?

There are moments in this life that I will never forget.  My grandpa calling out, "here comes star."  Hiding from the neighborhood boogie man with girl friends in middle school (the pee man - LOL).  Showing up on my sister's doorstep crying and her enfolding me in a hug.  My family laughing so hard at a silly shrunken T shirt.  Seeing my husband for the first time.  Seeing my husband at the end of the aisle...

Too many moments to recount here. 

I pray that I never forget those moments.  That I can look back on life, unleash the treasured times and be filled the memory of a life well lived.  To everyone reading this, treasure your moments.  The good, the bad and the ugly.  Tally your blessings and let go of that which holds you back.  At end of my life you'll find me recounting my moments....date nights with grandma and drinking too much wine...giving my parents a 'cool' wave at my volleyball games...playing in the halls of the hospital with Levi the night Arianna was born...meeting Tonio for the first time...Marilyn's patience teaching me to ride the quad...the night we brought home our Champ...

More to talk about

As if you couldn't get enough of me....

I have started a second blog called The Writer's Page. This blog will be dedicated to the evolution and refinement of my writing as a craft. Some of the entries that I have posted on this blog will be moved or copied to the new site, but you will also get a chance to read other pieces of my work. Those of you who have known me a long time will recognize some of these pieces as I will publish them publicly for the first time. Other pieces no one has ever seen and so they will be new to all of you. As I continue to hone my writing skills and create new stories or poems I will share those on my Writer's Page blog. Join me on my new blog and keep up to date with my career as an amature writer. ;)

The David Family Adventure blog will still be updated with the adventures of our family and the silly to serious events that make up the David's.

Blessings

I am blessed to be surrounded with the best of friends. These past two weeks have been crazy and stressful - I have even looked in the mirror and wondered how do I take that next step. While I have to take it alone, I know it is not without their support. Our circumstances do not define who we are, but how we react and what course we take when we face adversity does. I know many people are facing the cruelest of fates at this time and so with that in mind I remind myself that I only need to put one foot in front of the other, take one step at a time. My girl friends are amazing. A breath of fresh air in a frantic life. A distraction when your mind feels numb. A conversation when you feel stress suffocating your lungs...a laugh when all you really need is to smile. Sometimes you take them for granted because they simply are there, always. Friends are a special species. They are the people you get to choose to have in your life. They accept you, flaws and all, don't hold grudges, and empathize with your misguided adventures. Friends are a treasure.

Sabrina and Brie lured me to coffee today only to kidnap me for the afternoon. They took me to a movie where all I had to focus on was watching something funny. There was no pressure or added stress from myself to change my situation or find the solution. For three and a half hours I felt like myself. Not some crazed person on a mission - as I have been for the past two weeks. I am so lucky to have these girls in my life.

And to my best friend of all, my generous, amazing...indescribable husband who has been nothing but supportive, patient, loving........you will never know the depth of love that my heart holds for you. You are my number one champion and I don't always see it, you believe in me when I've lost faith in myself. You are my inspiration.


“I knew the first time I saw you, that I wanted to know you more. I knew the first time we touched that there was something rare between us, and I knew after I kissed you that I loved you; I was cast under your spell and I knew that I would never feel about anyone else the way I felt about you. I was the luckiest fool because you gave me a chance. My whole world is you, my love." - Aimee David

Premonition

A foreboding settles in; there is no escaping what you know is to come. Your heart beats frantically, determined to outrun what it knows will come to pass...determined to ignore the knot twisting and tightening in your stomach that coincides with the anxiety building with every pulse. Your mind knows, even though you try to rationalize the red flags and push logic aside. A mind numbing search for the words that when given life solidify your fate.

There are moments in life where you know your own destiny. A destiny that is not of your own choosing. A fate that comes when you are busy planning for another day. Sometimes the best decisions in life are those that are taken out of your hands. Decisions that if you had it your way would be put off, or occur sooner, different, or are never even a glimmer of the road you planned to take. But what happens when a new road forms? When debris is cleared away revealing a journey you never expected. A life you didn't imagine, or at least a life you were not ready to change. You want to argue with destiny, question the sanity for your new life, and flaunt your temper at such an abrupt change to God. Why me? Why now? What about my plan...

Can you really be angry, though, when your gut forewarned you? Such glaring intuition, the premonition that change is upon you, doesn't happen everyday. Should you be angry with yourself for ignoring the voice of reason? Your voice of reason. Change is good. It allows us all to grow into the person we were meant to be. We should embrace the roads set out before us whether of our own making or destiny's. Put one foot in front of the other and make the journey; praying that sooner than later your heart stops beating frantically.

Holiday Blues

Christmas Cards

I'd hoped to get out Christmas cards,
Especially since we missed last year.
But family pictures were delayed,
And now the holiday is all to near.

So there will be no happy greetings
There is no merry cheer.
Because our time is fleeting
There's no Christmas cards this year.

I have no family picture
To show how the kids have grown
There is no 2009 update letter
With a comedic undertone.

So Merry Christmas everyone
Love to all we hold dear
This is your only greeting
Because there are no Christmas cards this year.

--Aimee David

LOL and Love with all your Heart!
Merry Christmas & Happy New Year :)

Snow Days

Denver had an October storm blow in Wednesday and brought with it a heap of snow. I remember getting snow in October, but I can't remember a time when we had a storm like this so early in the season. I took a couple of pics with my camera phone (so the quality is not that great) of all the snow in our backyard.

Champ and Butch are absolutely loving the snow. In fact, I can't manage to get them inside. When Champ finally obeys, he walks so slow, with his head down like I am the Grinch that just stole his Christmas. I dry them off, go back to work, and within ten minutes Champ is laying his head in my lap because he wants to go back out. "Ah, come on mom!" This is the same dog that every winter goes outside, quickly gets so cold he tries to balance all his weight on his butt (all 120 pounds of him) and then trades off which foot touches the ground to support his weight. (Back left, front right, front left...) It really is funny to see. :D

So raise a mug of hot chocolate. Here is to all my snow bound friends or those in warmer climates missing the snow! Happy Snow Days!