...Get Ready...Get Set...

There is an excitement, anticipation for the change that is about to occur. One that makes me eager for the days to fly and yet yearns for time to slow. Life has changed for us. Life will change again with the arrival of this new addition. A change I am excited to embrace, but a change that will forever alter the course of our lives. It is time. Time to end the honeymoon chapter and turn the page to family. A lifetime of joy and memories await us with this little bundle.


I never imagined six years ago when I met my husband that my heart could know such joy. I thought meeting him was the best. Then I thought falling in love with him was the best...moving in with him...marrying him...each stage seemed to eclipse the last. There is a love so deep no words can explain. (I know many of you are lucky enough to feel this too, because thankfully love is unique to the individual and can touch us all.) My husband's love has invaded my heart and conquered my soul. I have found someone to stand by me, who accepts my faults, encourages me and believes in my dreams with me (even when others are telling you to throw in the towel), he brings out the best in me...he is the love of my life. Bringing a new life into this world with my love, my best friend, my soul mate leaves me speechless. There is no greater joy I can think of but I imagine as we continue this journey through life there will be many more moments that once again eclipse the last.


Our son is going to be blessed with a patient, fun, encouraging, ornery father who will teach him to laugh, to play, to think logically and thoroughly, to have a kind and generous heart. My son is already blessed a million times over because of the father he will have.


As we near the end of this pregnancy there is a gentle reminder of the best decision I ever made. It is ever present. Thank you God for throwing an internship I did not want to pursue in my face. Thank You for moving my desk right next to this amazing man who I was too timid to talk to, for him asking me to dinner and me having the sense to say yes. Thank You for all the inexplicable coincidences in our lives that showed us we were constantly circling each other waiting for the right time before we would be ready for each other and then giving us the time to enjoy each other and prepare to be parents so we would be ready for our little guy.


We are as ready as we are ever going to be.

What Inspires You?

There are many things in this life that I fall in love with over and over again. My husband goes without saying, but simple things like watching someone walk around a lake with no perception of time, studying Champ as he becomes engrossed while surveying the neighborhood at the front door, or even the fall of leaves in the autumn - the realization that they are at their end - put me in a state of wonder. I love these moments. I find myself curious and in awe of those simple treasures; treasures that when I'm not looking inspire me.

One place I always find inspiration is in art. I absolutely love art. There is something so amazing about a person who can have such skill as to present the realities of life with the swiftness of their hand regardless if it is abstract or figurative. With each painting I wonder what emotion captured the artist and pursued them until finally it was released onto the canvass. Bob Ross (insert cliche laugh here) was the first artist I loved. Everything about how he painted was joyful. The world he created through his work was always engineered with happiness. All the trees had friends and there was nothing you could do mess up "your world".

As I grew up my attraction to art evolved and I found another artist who continues to awe and inspire me, Jack Vettriano. Some of his work hangs in our home, other pieces I am dying to get - but not all are in production. :/ His work is soulful and loving, raw and edgy, glamorous and simple all at the same time. I wonder what emotion coursed through him when he felt the need to create the different pieces. What sights he must have seen...what mystery surrounded his life...what pain he must have endured...what love he must have experienced.

I think the greatest thing about art is that there is no right or wrong interpretation. It simply holds the hope you see, the pain you feel, the love that embodies you. And every one will see something different although we are all looking at the same thing.

There are numerous artist whose pieces of work capture me and leave me speechless. I am drawn to art and with each piece I experience, I am inspired.

Count Your Moments

There are moments in life where you need no affirmation that you are exactly where you are meant to be.  When the muddled what if's or should have, could have, would have's fade away.  Moments when future plans blurr, too distant to discern.  Moments when you wish you could freeze time.  Stand still.  Never change.  I often find myself watching our 'kids' and wishing with all my heart that I could make time stand still so that nothing would ever change.  Old age wouldn't consume our dogs.  Time wouldn't haunt our bodies and we could simply be exactly as we are at that moment. 

But what is life without adventure?  How could you know the happy times truly are happy without knowing the sad?  How can you touch lives if you never grow into the person you were meant to be?  Life is complex.  Filled with too many moments to freeze.  And if that invisible force pushing us forward, moving us to the next day, never gave us that gentle nudge to move on would we then never know the bliss that awaits us?

There are moments in this life that I will never forget.  My grandpa calling out, "here comes star."  Hiding from the neighborhood boogie man with girl friends in middle school (the pee man - LOL).  Showing up on my sister's doorstep crying and her enfolding me in a hug.  My family laughing so hard at a silly shrunken T shirt.  Seeing my husband for the first time.  Seeing my husband at the end of the aisle...

Too many moments to recount here. 

I pray that I never forget those moments.  That I can look back on life, unleash the treasured times and be filled the memory of a life well lived.  To everyone reading this, treasure your moments.  The good, the bad and the ugly.  Tally your blessings and let go of that which holds you back.  At end of my life you'll find me recounting my moments....date nights with grandma and drinking too much wine...giving my parents a 'cool' wave at my volleyball games...playing in the halls of the hospital with Levi the night Arianna was born...meeting Tonio for the first time...Marilyn's patience teaching me to ride the quad...the night we brought home our Champ...

Let's Get Physical

Oh My Goodness!  This is the best thing to start your week and it will tickle your funny bone. 

While Levi and I were at his parents' house this past weekend, Ron gave him an old Iron Man magazine that talks about fitness and the body building competitions of the time.  This is easily from the 1960's, maybe even earlier.  (I can't find a date.)  Anyway, the advertisements and articles are so funny because the information is outdated and we know now that this information is no longer relevant or better things/ideas have come along.  Thank God, could you imagine everyone walking around with these shoes?  "I'm just getting my workout in for the day."  LOL!  I thought I would post a picture of one of the ads...too funny!

1. These are weighted shoes.                                                  

2. These are exercises for those shoes. Check out the bottom two where he is actually holding the shoes and doing upper body with them as weights.  They're versatile shoes! 

I hope you are getting as big a kick out of this as I did. :D

1.

2.

Blessings

I am blessed to be surrounded with the best of friends. These past two weeks have been crazy and stressful - I have even looked in the mirror and wondered how do I take that next step. While I have to take it alone, I know it is not without their support. Our circumstances do not define who we are, but how we react and what course we take when we face adversity does. I know many people are facing the cruelest of fates at this time and so with that in mind I remind myself that I only need to put one foot in front of the other, take one step at a time. My girl friends are amazing. A breath of fresh air in a frantic life. A distraction when your mind feels numb. A conversation when you feel stress suffocating your lungs...a laugh when all you really need is to smile. Sometimes you take them for granted because they simply are there, always. Friends are a special species. They are the people you get to choose to have in your life. They accept you, flaws and all, don't hold grudges, and empathize with your misguided adventures. Friends are a treasure.

Sabrina and Brie lured me to coffee today only to kidnap me for the afternoon. They took me to a movie where all I had to focus on was watching something funny. There was no pressure or added stress from myself to change my situation or find the solution. For three and a half hours I felt like myself. Not some crazed person on a mission - as I have been for the past two weeks. I am so lucky to have these girls in my life.

And to my best friend of all, my generous, amazing...indescribable husband who has been nothing but supportive, patient, loving........you will never know the depth of love that my heart holds for you. You are my number one champion and I don't always see it, you believe in me when I've lost faith in myself. You are my inspiration.


“I knew the first time I saw you, that I wanted to know you more. I knew the first time we touched that there was something rare between us, and I knew after I kissed you that I loved you; I was cast under your spell and I knew that I would never feel about anyone else the way I felt about you. I was the luckiest fool because you gave me a chance. My whole world is you, my love." - Aimee David

Premonition

A foreboding settles in; there is no escaping what you know is to come. Your heart beats frantically, determined to outrun what it knows will come to pass...determined to ignore the knot twisting and tightening in your stomach that coincides with the anxiety building with every pulse. Your mind knows, even though you try to rationalize the red flags and push logic aside. A mind numbing search for the words that when given life solidify your fate.

There are moments in life where you know your own destiny. A destiny that is not of your own choosing. A fate that comes when you are busy planning for another day. Sometimes the best decisions in life are those that are taken out of your hands. Decisions that if you had it your way would be put off, or occur sooner, different, or are never even a glimmer of the road you planned to take. But what happens when a new road forms? When debris is cleared away revealing a journey you never expected. A life you didn't imagine, or at least a life you were not ready to change. You want to argue with destiny, question the sanity for your new life, and flaunt your temper at such an abrupt change to God. Why me? Why now? What about my plan...

Can you really be angry, though, when your gut forewarned you? Such glaring intuition, the premonition that change is upon you, doesn't happen everyday. Should you be angry with yourself for ignoring the voice of reason? Your voice of reason. Change is good. It allows us all to grow into the person we were meant to be. We should embrace the roads set out before us whether of our own making or destiny's. Put one foot in front of the other and make the journey; praying that sooner than later your heart stops beating frantically.

Become your own superhero

Doubt is easy. The consequence of doubt is a given. Faith is hard, there is no reassurance, no material item received or substantial evidence that faith is well placed. I'm not speaking of one's religious belief, but rather to the doubt that festers within the mind - the faith or doubt in one's self, in one's ability.

How can you know that the doubt lingering at the edges of your mind is not sound advice? When do you turn away from doubt to know that your faith will prevail? How do you dispose of the seeds of doubt making room for the blossoms of faith? Is doubt a sounding board that reigns us in when our aspirations are above our reach? Or is it a menace that should be locked away with all the other detrimental negativity?

Doubt pursues like a villain in the night: haunting your heart, persuading your mind. It coils like a snake and strangles that which could push us to something far better than ever imagined. It weighs you down, siphoning the air from your lungs, essentially stealing the breath of your faith.

Yes, doubt is easy. With doubt there is no action required. Simply give in and the darkness of doubt will shroud you. Faith, though, requires more. It requires you remove the blinders of doubt, eliminate the shackles of fear and contain the villain that pursues. With faith you can make bold your beliefs and shine when others would see you dimmed. Doubt will come in many forms from many people, even the people least suspected; those that you love (and they have no idea they are planting the seeds) just as easily as from those you respect the least. Doubt does not discriminate, it simply smiles eagerly at its intended victim knowing if their faith is not sound it can and will wound quickly.

Hold fast to your faith. Stand bold when doubt positions itself for attack. Persevere. Let faith broaden. Let doubt shrink. Reinforce your foundation of faith with every strike that doubt deals because as surely are you will persevere, so will doubt.

Shackles

Fear holds us back. It wraps its manacles firmly around you, restricting the reach for higher goals. It weaves a seam across your lips, cutting off the voice that shouts for something better. It is a stealth operative, creeping into the depths of our minds disengaging our senses, poisoning us to believe we are incapable of the success we seek. Why is fear so easy to give in to? Why do we allow the obstacles that intercept our roads to become road blocks? Instead we should maneuver the road, always keeping our eye on the final destination. The boulders that crowd the journey can be large, astonishing even the strongest of wills. But they can be overcome. They can be left on the shoulder as we pursue what we set out to achieve. Too easily, though, a littered highway distracts us. Our destination no longer visible. Detours have lead us astray rather than back to the main course. When those pebbles of doubt begin to grow into the boulders of fear cluttering the carefully mapped out road to success we have charted in our minds it is time to accelerate. Escape the evil of fear that pursues your dreams. Break free from the icy manacles that restrain. Fear cannot be an option.

Easier said than done. Easier to give advice than take it. If only the advice we give so many were so easy to swallow ourselves. Fear is individual and unique. We carefully place the shackles ourselves. We quickly tuck away the key that would release us from this bondage, sometimes forgetting entirely where we even placed it.

Today is the day I break free. Today is the day I push ahead. Today is the day fear falls behind, only a distant reminder in my rear view mirror. Today is the day. I'll start on it tomorrow. ;)

Two Roads

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and sorry I could not travel both, and been one traveler long I stood, and looked down one as far as I could to where it bent in the undergrowth." --Robert Frost, The Road Less Traveled


Sixth through eighth grade brought with it a teacher who loved to make us do public speaking exercises. One of which was reciting poems in front of the class. She promised that years down the road we would be thanking her because we would remember these epic poems. I vaguely remember any of those poems. A line here or there from a Shakespearean sonnet. I remember a poem about a Tree - I think it was a poem we got to choose our self and it was the shortest one I could find. ("I think I will never see, something as lovely as a Tree.") However, among all we were forced to memorize I remember this, Robert Frost's The Road Less Traveled.


It seems this poem whispers back to me whenever I find myself at a crossroad in life. When I am faced with two roads and wishing fervently that I had hindsight in making my decision. I know the strait and narrow path will never lead me astray, but what if...what if the road less traveled takes me beyond anything I could imagine? Strange that of all the poems, this is the one I remember. One where a decision must be made and looking down the paths laid out ahead there is the road worn and true and there is a road that is grassy and want for wear. I don't want to get to the end of my life wondering what if? What if I would have taken the road less traveled? I know where I'll end up on the road that is worn...everyone ends up there...but what if I take this other road? What then?


Decisions are decisions are decisions. You make the choice, hold firm and know that you must endure the consequences, because unfortunately there is no crystal ball. If only life were so simple. So I sit here looking down the road of my life wondering where the fork splits into my two paths and which path will be want for wear in this journey.


"And I...I took the road less traveled by, and that has made all the difference."

Kitty Kompanion

Frequently, as I am sitting at my desk working during the day I get a visitor. Usually she wants me to shake her food bowl (she has food but needs someone to move it around). Occasionally she wants to go outside. Mostly she just wants to annoy me. However, there are those special days when all she really wants is to be a cuddle bug and sit with me while I work. If I don't make room for her between my forearms she either continues moving around my desk until I give in, or she stares at me until I make the room. (That is a little creepy. : ) Today is one of those days when all she wants is to cuddle and purr. I'll take it!